Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Online dating tips

So recently I've been trying my hand at online dating and I wanted to share my tips that I've learned along the way:
Me and my boyfriend

  • Have diverse pictures in your profile. Have at least one of these essentials:
    • Close up of your beautiful face
    • A funny picture of you doing something quirky or silly
    • Sporty active shot so they know you're not a slug who watches Netflix all day
    • Full body picture to show your gorgeous figure. Work it. 
    • Travel snapshot of where you went on your 8th grade field trip
  • Message them something they can't resist
    • If the guy says he likes to putt-putt golf say to him, "Did you know that I'm the current world champion putt putter? It took a lot of long hours out on the green but I beat Mazowski for the title. My parents say they are proud." 
    • Say something more than just "hi", "how are you?" because you either won't get a response or you'll just get a response of "good." Bo-ring! 
    • Ask them about one of their interests. Engage! "Hey, I saw you like Parks and Rec. Who is your favorite character? Mine is Li'l Sebastian. He may have been li'l but he was big in our hearts."
    • Don't you dare send 100 people the same canned response. I hate these. They usually look like, "Hey, you seem pretty cool. I think we could get along. We should chat." If you think a person won't be able to tell you've copied and pasted the same response to 100 other chicks, you cray cray. I feel no shame in confronting the guy and giving him a hard time for copying and pasting me some bull crap message.  It takes two seconds to skim through and talk to me about one of my interests. 
  • Don't state the obvious
  • It's okay to have fun 
    • No need to tell me "I'm new at this," "message me if you want to know more," or "not really sure what I'm doing here." Nobody knows what they are doing on dating sites and it's pretty obvious that if I want to know more about you then I'll message you.  Thanks for the tip, bro. 
  • Be funny in your profile
    • Hobbies: filling out online dating profiles 
    • Favorite book: Your family photo album 
  • Don't ask for Snapchat or Instagram usernames
    • Get to know each other before exchanging social media usernames. My snapchat and instagram are for my IRL friends and are too personal to share with strangers. 
    • If a guy immediately adds me on snapchat then I view that as moving too fast, not respecting my wishes as to whether I wanted him to add me, and that he's just looking for a hookup. 
  • Respond once a day to messages
    • Everybody checks their phone a different amount. At least respond once a day to people in order to be polite. 
    • Don't feel obligated to immediately respond and always be glued to your phone. Let them think you're busy and just respond once a day. 
  • Don't reveal too much
    • Be careful about saying specifically where you live, work, how much you make, etc. Safety first. 

If you do decide to meet up in person, here are some safety tips:
Don't drink too much on a date
  • Tell a friend that you're going on a date with a new guy. Tell her the time and place of the date.
  • Meet in a public place. I like bars and coffee shops because if things get bad, I can quickly drink my beverage, get the check and leave.  
  • Don't get dinner or do something where you're stuck together for an hour. 
  • Have a friend text you half way through the date to check in. "Yo, you still alive?" - friend 
  • Watch your food and drink at all times.  If he asks you to get a table and offers to grab your drink for you, politely say "That's okay. I'll stay with you" and watch your drink like a hawk watches a mouse in a field.  
  • Don't ever tell him specifically where you live. 
  • Offer to pay for your stuff. At least reach for your wallet and try to pay. Every guy is different about letting the girl pay. I like paying for my stuff. 
  • If he's a super creep and gives you the "ickies" say you have to go to the bathroom and keep on walking. No shame, girlfriend.
  • If he offers to walk you to your car, politely decline. Some creeps have a scary memory for license plate numbers. 
  • Make sure he doesn't follow you home.
  • You have no obligation to ever text him or call him if he creeped you out.